One of the last Bible discussions I had with my dear friend, Sean Cavender, addressed this question. As the children of God, we have the wonderful hope of an eternal home in the presence of God, where the pain and sorrow of this life are no more, where we are joint heirs with our blessed Saviour, and where the victory of immortality is won (John 14:1-3; 1 Thessalonians 4:17; Romans 8:15-23; 1 Corinthians 15:50-57; Revelation 21:1-7). These are wonderful things which the faithful anticipate, but understandably, the question of recognition and remembrance of our loved ones is frequently pondered in the minds of the elect. Will we know one another in heaven?
I am unaware of any Scripture which outright states that we will recognize one another in heaven. However, many texts indicate that we maintain our distinct identity after we have finished our course in this world. Further, the Scriptures reveal those who are in the spirit realm have recognition of one another and remembrance of relationships from this life. Consider the following biblical passages.
King Saul went to a medium at En Dor, seeking to contact Samuel in a seance (1 Samuel 28). When she saw the prophet, she cried out with a loud voice (v. 12). Her reaction makes me wonder if she’d ever before seen a spirit. After she described the spirit, Saul confirmed it was Samuel. A conversation ensued with the deceased prophet, who rebuked King Saul with the same fervour he had when he was alive.
The prophet Nathan announced to king David that the consequence of his sin would be the death of his first son born to Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12). For the seven days of the child’s life, the king prayed, fasted, and prostrated himself on the ground. Nevertheless, the child died. David’s servants were confused when he arose, washed himself, and ate. He explained, “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, ‘Who can tell whether the LORD will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me” (vv. 22-23). David was confident that he would see (and know) his son in the hereafter.
In Luke 16, Jesus spoke about the rich man and Lazarus. Both men passed from this life and went to Hades: Lazarus was in Paradise (i.e., Abraham’s bosom), and the rich man was in torments. It is worth noting the knowledge which this deceased rich man possessed. He recognized and spoke with Abraham; he recognized and sought help from Lazarus; and he remembered and was concerned for his five brothers, who were still alive. Of course, he was not in heaven, but beyond this life, in the spirit realm, despite suffering in torment, he had both recognition and remembrance.
Two prophets who had been deceased for centuries appeared and spoke with Jesus in Matthew 17. They were not nondescript, generic figures, but recognized by Simon Peter as Moses and Elijah. Their identity remained intact centuries after their deaths.
The Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection, presented an absurd scenario about seven brothers, who each (in turn) married the same woman, but all subsequently died (Matt. 22). They mocked Jesus, asking whose wife she would be in the resurrection. The Lord responded to their sarcasm by simply affirming that there is no marriage in heaven (v. 30), for marriage ends at the grave (Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:39). The greater and eternal relationship is our kinship as God’s people. He then affirmed the certainty of the resurrection by citing Exodus 3:6, where Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, though deceased, are cited in the present tense, “I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” Jesus added, “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living” (v. 32). In fact, in Matthew 8:11, Jesus said, “Many will come from east and west, and sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven.” What an amazing thought—we will be with and know the patriarchs.
The Bible speaks of “the Book of Life,” where the names of those who have the hope of heaven are recorded (Luke 10:20; Philippians 4:3; Revelation 3:5; 13:8; 20:12; 21:27). The existence of such a divine document attests to the perpetuation of our distinct individuality. The Book of Life identifies us as citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:21) and members of the family of God (John 14:2-3; Ephesians 2:19; 3:15; 2 Corinthians 5:6).
Paul asked the Christians in Thessalonica, “What is our hope, or joy, or crown of rejoicing?” To which he answered, “Is it not even you in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming? For you are our glory and joy” (1 Thessalonians 2:19-20). How hollow would such words be if he would not know them (or they him) in the resurrection? In chapter 4, some were troubled at the death of loved ones (v. 13). Paul affirmed the hope of the resurrection, emphasizing that the dead in Christ will rise and be with the Lord (vv. 14-16), and those who remain alive will meet them in the air (v. 17). This hopeful reunion is a reason to “comfort one another” (v. 18). How comforting will it be if we will not know each other? His words of comfort continue in chapter 5, where we find, “God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him. Therefore comfort each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11). We will live together with Him!
If we recognize and remember people in the resurrection, will we not also be cognizant of those who are not there? If that is the case, would that not cause sadness? Nevertheless, God’s word affirms that there is no sorrow, crying, or pain in heaven (Revelation 21:4). Will the Lord somehow remove our memory of them? The Bible gives no indication of God doing so. Also, Luke 16 shows that those who have passed beyond this world will retain the memory of those whom they knew.
When we experience sorrows in this life, the pain lessens over time. Grief typically gives way to acceptance. Greater still, we have the God of all comfort and His people to support us in our sorrows (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). Neither of my parents was a Christian. While they were alive, they had no interest in the truth of God’s word. When they passed away, I was filled with sorrow—I understood the eternal implication. Their spiritual reality has not changed, and it is still a sad and unfortunate thing, but my experience of sadness is not the same as it once was. Certainly, I could dwell upon it and bring myself to tears, but I do not dwell on it. I cannot change it, and there are living people upon whom I can and should focus.
In heaven, when we are in the presence of the Almighty, the One “who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20), the wondrous glory of His being and the immense greatness of His majesty will be beyond sufficient to eclipse and transcend every pain, sorrow, or trouble which we experienced in this life. Heaven will be glorious and wonderful. This exceeds our ability to fully comprehend at the present time. The fullness of our eternal existence in heaven remains a mystery, even as the apostle John wrote, “now we are the children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that, when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3:2). Paul added, God “will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body” (Philippians 3:21) and that “we shall all be changed” (1 Corinthians 15:51). If we will prepare ourselves in the here and now, we shall gain entrance by His marvelous grace and mercy to the there and then. If we have been “fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God” in this life (Ephesians 2:19), He will accordingly transform us and receive us as citizens and spiritual family in His eternal abode.
– William J. Stewart
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This article was originally published in the
October 2023 issue of Truth Magazine,
as part of a Tribute to Sean Cavender.
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